#still old art but ill just post it like this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Hello. I know I've sent in messages before but very very rarely. But recent events have caused us to have a question. Just this week, we got officially diagnosed with D.I.D and recommended the idea of getting a psychologist for the first time in my life, besides a psychiatrist. Two of my alts say they can't be serious but the other three think they are bout the psychologist and we are nervous. I saw you talking about disorganized attachment in your latest posts and was wondering if you could tell me more bout what that is because it sounds like I may have experienced that and I'm trying to understand myself and us more from others with experience with D.I.D and similar disorders. We hope that makes sense! We are still very new to all of this. Thank you so much for your time. - Us
First, congrats!!! Try to come back and tell us what therapy and the interviews are like! I'm certain my followers would love to hear about it. It's scary, I'm so proud of you ❤️
Disorganized attachment is both very complicated, and quite easy to understand. I just reblogged a couple old posts about it, but this will be shorter :)
This is my favorite image to describe it!
Note that disorganized attachment (DA, from here on) is linked to low trust in self AND others. All of these types of attachment have shown strong links to different types of disorders, but DA is most associated with dissociative disorders.
The most important thing I've learned is
Even well-meaning, well-intentioned, loving parents can cause DA
DA can be hidden trauma, its relation to neglect is much stronger than originally thought, and neglect is a lot harder to spot and understand than straight up abuse.
A quick note here: DO NOT play trauma Olympics-- with yourselves, with others, on this post, nothing. Trauma is a personal reaction to events, abuse, or neglect and can occur in response to literally anything. When it comes to CDDs, we're looking at cumulative responses resulting in psychopathology, and you don't get to decide what was enough for other people.
It's their reactions.
Mind your own business.
So, all that said, DA is about the child being both fearful and reliant on caregivers. They want to both flee to and flee from caregivers. When a caregiver is unpredictable, the child has a difficult time establishing a consistent view of the caregiver, and of themselves. In other words, the caregiver is both needed, and someone to be avoided, and the child may not understand what makes them a “good” or “bad” child, as the caregiver’s behavior is often confusing and unpredictable.
I'm going to throw out a couple examples here:
Parent A has yelled at you, and you're scared to go to parent B and talk about it - neither parent feels safe but they're your only source of comfort
You're hungry, but parents scold you for eating too much - you're both scared to ask for your needs and yet reliant on their abilities to meet them
Sometimes parent is attentive and kind, and sometimes very dismissive - you never know what you're going to get, but when they're dismissive, it kills your drive for things you thought you enjoyed - sometimes parent puts your art on the fridge and sometimes they throw it in the trash, and maybe that particular piece was important and you'd expected better reception
Parent gets physical when they drink but at school, parent is a model citizen and teachers and other students always tell you how lucky you are
Parents are openly homophobic and you think you might be a little gay - they're good people otherwise (you think), and maybe if you just keep that part of you down...
Parent struggles with their own mental illness and you never know what kind of reaction they'll have, but you treasure the good memories and hold out hope you'll see that side of them again, despite the many letdowns
Parent doesn't let you keep anything to yourself, it's to the point you want to avoid them as much possible, only seeing them for meals
Parent is... mean. Just flat out mean, and they'll tell you no one will listen to you. There's no point is trying to find help with other caregivers-- teachers, babysitters, friends. It's just you and them, against the world.
The start of DA is typically formed in infancy when a parent doesn't respond properly to their child. Missed feedings, not enough skin time, mixing "cry it out" with giving in, ignoring cries for food or changing. These first attachments in infancy set the tone for all your attachments going forward. Meeting needs and milestones help the brain develop in a healthy way. If some of these milestones are missed or slowed, you tend to see psychopathology of some kind as a result. Various future relationships are likely to be affected, and more often than not, you respond to your own children the same way-- a type of intergenerational trauma.
And this is only the grey areas. We haven't touched full and proper abuse and how that can affect someone.
The result of DA is that a child will try to push memories and feelings about their caregivers down so that they're not bothered-- they can interact with their caregiver, whatever mood they're in or whatever happened yesterday.
If you just kill your feelings, parent's outbursts don't hurt as much. If you just don't think about what they did to you, you can put on a smile and get through dinner.
This is, in and of itself, dissociation. A rejection of feelings or memories. DA on its own isn't very likely to cause a CDD, but with additional trauma, it's... oof.
Children with DA and suffering from abuse “are likely to generate two or more dissociated self states, with contradictory working models of attachment,” in order to handle their confusing relationship with the caregiver. This can go in several directions, not necessarily a CDD, but it becomes much more likely.
So, the child needs to maintain a relationship with the caregiver– they have no one else to turn to, so the child can develop dissociation as a way to make sense of themselves, and to maintain a child-caregiver relationship. They may “forget” the abuse, or deny it. “It is an adaptive and defensive strategy that enables the child to function within the relationship, but it often leads to the development of a fragmented sense of self.” This fragmented sense of self may or may not develop into something worse– namely, BPD and DID based on severity, frequency, and whether there was any sense of reprieve (i.e. a child can avoid the worst of dissociative symptoms if one of their parents was more supportive, because it helps them build some positive attachments).
I really hope this helps!
Good luck, come back soon!
#it didn't end up being shorter#disorganized attachment#cdd system#cdds first#sysconversation#did#osdd#osddid#plurality#multiplicity#childhood trauma#research
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
#still old art but ill just post it like this#skullgirls cerebella#cerebella skullgirls#cerebella#Skullgirls#sgm#skullgirls mobile#my art
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Old sketch I decided to give line art and color. Will definitely NOT finish this but if I do thennnn iunno congrats on me finally finishing an abandoned sketch 😭
#God this looks goofy 😭#it was an old sketch give me credit i tried to fix it 😭😭🙏🙏#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin#hazbin hotel vaggie#vaggie#charlie morningstar#chaggie#varlie#rainbowmoth#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#hazbin hotel chaggie#vaggie x charlie#charlie x vaggie#these two genuinely have taken over my life#like i have hyperfixated on 100's of wlw ships but. this. UGH#LIKE ITS NOT EVEN WRITTEN GREAT IN THE SHOW (atleast not compared to h*sker*ust 😭)#AND STILL IT CHOKES ME MORE THAN ANY SHIP EVER BEFORE??!#maybe its because theres so much missed potential that i just do the work myself yknow?#like demon form charlie iykyk 😍#ughh... maybe ill just restart and do a better pose than whatever this was ☹️#also look at the windows 💜#suggestive???#struggling to post this but i have nothing else to post 😔#I THINK IM HITTING ART BLOCK??? IS THAT. IS THAT A THING FOR ME??
372 notes
·
View notes
Text
so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
322 notes
·
View notes
Text
touched up some daisy, daisy fanart i made at least a year ago but never got to post
#i have so much scattered around but its mostly sketches and i drew them different#way back then#the hev suit was a bit funny before i changed it. i hadnt look at a reference yet lol#ill include a link to the fic in the notes but be aware that its abandoned. but its my favorite fic ever#hlvrai#eyestrain#maybe? idk ppl say bright red is hard to use. looks fine to me but just to be safe#half life vr but the ai is self aware#benrey#gordos freeman#my art#OH FUCK OH SHIT it looks way different on my phone FUCK#i was right to tag eyestrain#but i dont feel like changing the drawing#did noooooot expect this post to get so many notes#i put way more time into the other daisy daisy fanart i posted lol#this one was so old. definitely one of the first times i had drawn them#was not used to drawing facial hair. im still not but now i get that you just kinda fuck around and see what happens#like lots of art goes
291 notes
·
View notes
Text
That ended exactly how I expected it to and, as expected, I am entirely neutral on it. Wasn't a satisfying ending or a super hype ending or anything like that, literally just the ending that may as well have happened. Not a single thing surprised me that whole conclusion, it felt unfortunately predictable. You can tell he's excited for it's end though so I'm happy for Horikoshi regardless, hope he can get proper rest now.
#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha 430#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#spoilers#like yeah okay. quirkless. teacher. becomes hero anyway. yeah. left the ships open ended but after last chapter i expected that too.#none of the old bitches are dead somehow. literally an entire chapter full to the brim of just parallels to thw first chapter#which is a normal ending that a lot of stories opt for since it ties things together nicely. but idk. i was vaguely hoping for more?#just felt like a whole chapter of nodding my head and going yeah. yeah okay.#wish there had been something more emotional. also wish he had covered more characters endings. shirakumi got a micro panel#was hoping for a grand conclusion i guess and instead got the average shounen time skip. but ykw its better than demon slayer and narutos#so f it ill take it whatever man#i am happy its over tho. ive loved it for so long im happy i was here to see the ending live. guess I'm just bittersweet idk#still hyperfixated tho so i dont imagine my posts will change#cant wait for the art book fan book movie and special announcement tho yipeee#o shit i typed shirokimi earlier. i meant shirakumo. kurogiri. bros conclusion was a micro panel of a fucking tombstone
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
savor-edesign thoughts
#zeno's art#ocs#reassassination#dr savory#the reason i have to redesign him is because reassass' style has become more refined and diverse in face shape/size#that the adult characters look distinct next to the teens#but savory still looks like a teen in the style#and he js supposed to be 32 years old so i guess thats not good#really i just gotta stretch out his face a bit#also i have some oc sheets done and ready tp post but i want to finish them all first....#or fuck it ill post it now actually
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
vriska + a transmasc dave doodle
#tryna get into colored pencils again we'll see how it goes#its been a while since ive done a good tag ramble#but like i dont hv anything to ramble about#my art#traditional art#doodles#fanart#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#dave strider fanart#vriska serket#vriska fanart#oh actually i do hv smth to ramble about today#that being scheduled posts#yknow scheduled posts are actually really convinient and helped me quite a bit#like i used them for a couple months and honestly really liked useing them cuz it allowed me to hv a pretty consistent posting schedule#but in the end i just didnt feel right with it mostly due to the fact that even with it set to post three times a week it felt weird to hav#some of my drawings posting weeks after i finished them. like they were old news to me already but they were barely being released to every#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to#draw smth just so i would have smth to post and most of the time that led to me being unhappy with my art. so now ive just decided like fuc#it imma post whenever i want and honestly im really happy with that even if i might be going a little trigger happy with the posting button#recently lmao. ive just been drawing a whole lot and hv so much to post its insane. hell i still hv things in my gallery that i needa post#but ill save those for the next couple of days lol but yeah thanks for coming to my very long ted talk/ramble and goodnight 😴#damn im such a yapster what the hell
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)
#self#mori kei#jfashion#NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj#I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat#and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol...#the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly#a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing#sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower...#I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something#but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP#why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no#reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere#in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I'#already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate#anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or#whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ#tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons#and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE#hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like#doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at#some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them#and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like#close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s#etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst#d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol..#AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol#(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i#s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)
89 notes
·
View notes
Note
OH MY GOD YOU'RE BACK I'M SO HAPPY!!! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE ARTIST EVER EVER EVER AAAAHHHH
AAAAAA thank you that literally means so much for me to hear!!!!! YESSS!!! I am back!!! >:33
I have so much SolNep content I wanna spew out from silly doodles to very random AU art to actual stories and more!!!!
#art#digital art#procreate#homestuck#solnep#nepeta leijon#sollux captor#i have so many ideas bumping around in my brain its actually nuts#but thank you so much for your extremely kind words#its so crazy to me that people genuinely like my art so much and it makes me tear up from joy every time!!!#i met a vriska via cherubplay who when we were talking about art gifts or something i had sent them my art and they went !!!! YOU!!!!#they informed me they were a big fan of mine and i just freaking flipped out in excitement#god i miss roleplays and cherubplay and still look back over my old chats and miss all the people who were so nice#its okay though bc they fueled my writing for fics#which i will probably ask if yall would want that or a comic or something about these random ass aus#ill probably make a post or something like that within the next couple days#thank yall though fr for so much love and support yall are amazing <333
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love my room >_<
proof of being an absolute nerd😪 just wait until i get my mcr, green day, and radiohead posters along with some wwe action figures its OVER
#i still love marvel sm even tho i dont rlly watch the newer stuff anymore#ill try to watch the agatha series this weekend but im rlly excited for thunderbolts#also i told yall my room is so fucking colourful and then i come online to yap abt mcr like girl bye#the scratched out parts r just my last name and school so thats why i crossed em#anyways uhhh this is random as hell but i love my room ‼️#the old art on my wall is so funny#room reveal#room inspo#room tour#room decor#marvel#mcu#star wars#nerd#doctor who#punkoween yaps#shitpost#idk how to tag this#random post
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
youre my pride and joy, youre my johnny boy
#ALSO OBJECTIVELY A NOTHING POST BUT I LIKE HIS FACE HERE.#these are all old im looking at my art folder from the bottom up rn#but i still wike some of em#sims#strangetown#sims 2#johnny smith#curious family#fanart#duskdraws#<- im using that as an alternative to just like a “mine” tag idk if i like it#im not actually really a Poster so.... shrugs#okay i think ill like. start queueing shit now so im not just spamming
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh no. shes making a silly little powerpoint moodboard for her nick valentine fic....
#lol i dont even have one for SWRD#(but then again: SWRD never needed one. it's not so steeped in genre the way a noirish FO4 fic would be) (if that makes sense)#also with all the drastic rewrites of canon im doing for the nickfic i need one too keep the vibes straight lol#like for example: im even changing where dr. virgil is in the glowing sea. hence the bottom photos.#ive changed so much. all so nicks selfhood dilemma can be centered & sole can really feel like shes in the ruins of an old world#anyway#i promise im still making stuff i really am its just a busy time rn#I PROMISE ILL POST REAL ART SOON#its easier to draft plot than it is to actually write and refine swrd but im hoping next week ill have real time (<- probably so so wrong)#harebrained thought#hare posts#Fic Noir
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(
#my posts tag#work stress making me panic because i dont want to work and i dont know how to run a business#i hate living w other people?!!? so much???????????#im isolated and lonely but also social interaction with ppl is hard and makes me feel ill#body image hater brain is also being really hard to ignore lately too!!#AND my bf hauve covid. for the first time ever. i dont have the energy to take care of him as i am busy mentally kms#and withdrawls still. and the new med isnt working.#and i have to be anxious about not being able to afford either new or old med#because of withdrawals. i think at least. intrusive thoughts are fucking UNIGNOREABLE i cannot swioe away the fucking mental notification#its auto playing loud videos in my head. healp#and i honestly dont enjoy art anymore. or anything at all really.#games and stuff i previously loved are announcing new stuff that should be exciting but its just burnout and fomo#i have no money and no income and it makes me feel awful even tho like yeah im didabled n finding work is fucking impossible??#been in bed like 2 days and when im not asleep im sewer slidal yaaaay#anyways all that was mostly for me. sorry#i have moments of faith and reassurance like yeah this IS a waste of my energy i KNOW itll be fine lol? but i cant. hold onto it.#and that specifically might be system related but so frustrating. can we please work together.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
{|{ I was peeking in tumblr after i left for a while.. and i don't know if its a good idea to ask but.. what happened to ' man in grey ' ? I couldn't help but notice the account was now Deactivated:( }|}
Hey there dear anon! Thanks so much for dropping by the inbox, and welcome back XD
I also noticed that man in grey was deactivated for a while, understandably so. Many idv ask blogs that die tend to get deactivated, so while I was a little bummed about it, I'm not surprised.
I also confirmed with man in greys mun that she's "in blog retirement". Considering she's been around much longer then I have, I'd say thats pretty accurate XD. Thank you so much for checking in though, it's nice to know that people still remember and care for these blogs!
#unconcerned ramblings#its me the mun#ppl lose interest n leave fandoms n sometimes old stuff is just too cringe to leave around#theyre not completely gone though. interactions with other blogs will be on other blogs. man in grey has definitely made his mark here XD#having said that. when i do decide to retire the blog ill definitely still keep it up#theres a lot of things that im proud of over here. the blog really inspired me to try so many different things that i usually wouldnt do#n u can definitely see my improvement over time as i got more comfortable with digital art#i personally find it endearing. i do look back on the blog every now n then. usually when someone likes a really old post#theres definitely a lot of cringe as well but. im glad for all that. i know i had a lot of fun with it. n thats all that matters reallt
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some stuff I've drawn semi recently
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#furry#furry oc#furry art#Ive been going thru it recently but Ill survive#on the bright side the pet sitting job for my aunt is coming up soon#so Ill have a house to myself for a bit at least#Im probably still gonna be fairly offline for the foreseeable future unless I somehow manage to fix my sleep schedule anytime soon#not to say I will be on any sorta complete hiatus or anything just that Im not getting any more active most likely#not that I think anyone rly cares at this point since its been the norm for a while now but yknow#Ill still be around to answer asks and stuff just dont freak out if I take a lil bit to see it 👍#anyways enough of being a downer Im actually pretty happy with these even if theyre mostly just doodles#also I havent posted any art of these guys in a While but say hi to them while you can cause theyre back into the void of my brain now#first is keese (the oc™) second is toon and third is clyve#all from different stories but toon and clyve are both from the magic cat universe#their paths never meet tho the closest connection they have has to go through like 4 characters first#you can also tell theyre from different stories because one is anthro and the other isnt lol#generally speaking I consider anthro designs slightly more canon but both are canon depending on the story#not in a shapeshifting way just in a me being an inconsistent bitch sorta way#but yeah keese the oc is much older than either of those two I just dont talk abt them or their story ever#but hey if any of yall remember suckerz those two are besties#suckerz is sort of younger than the other two and sort of much older than all three#shes a sort of updated version of a reallyyyy old sona sort of character I had in like 6th grade I think#back during my lilo and stitch experiment oc era where I had one that was music themed#I also had a digimon variant of her she was called like beatramon or smth like that#she was basically a hypothetical music mascot and shes kind of still that tbh#if I ever get enough into making music that I start posting shit it will be my music mascot
5 notes
·
View notes